Log in

Thoughts of a hopeless Dreamer
Still Dreaming!
My Links
MY Yahoo Page Pictures
Days go by.....
Mar. 30th, 2010 @ 07:46 pm Friends
Friends I have not been around.. and again I say sorry.. I come back to check out the journal of someone that even though I sadly don't get enough time to talk to on a reg basis.. I love dearly like my own sister.. I hope she knows that she is worth so much to those who truly love her.. she is beautiful both inside and out. she is an amazing woman, mother, and person and I only hope that I have been half the woman I know her to be.
Sometimes we come across people for only a short time in our lives and they leave us seemingly hurt.. we feel pain, and we cry, but in the long run. We learn something about ourselves.. What he said was true.. YOU ARE amazing, sexy, Beautiful! you are all those things and so much more.
Just because he was not a real man shows no reflection on you my friend. It simply means he is not a real man!! Everyone who knows you loves you.. and we don't give that emotion out freely or for no reason.. There is a real reason why we do. It's because we can see who you really are..
Personally I want to say thank you for being my friend, Thank you for being who you are.
Don't change who you are,, cause your perfect!
Apr. 7th, 2009 @ 02:40 am @~>~~
I'm feeling so..: busybusy
I am in awe at how bad I have gotten at keeping up with this and everyone here.. I used to be so good at updating and I was on here every day.. I feel sad to say that for the most part MySpace has taken over my time online when not doing school work or something else.
For those of you interested in other ways to get a hold of me
my the email for both MySpace and facbook as well as my normal email for everything else is
You can find me on both my searching people.

OK on to an update about me..
I am still in college.. Math hates me and I am probably updating this to avoid doing my math homework lol
I am considering finishing up my degree in the paralegal program.. I have All the core classes done and I think I could really enjoy the challenge. Not to mention around here this is a good career when medical is not a choice which thanks to my sucky immune system it is not.
My kids are growing so fast. Taylor just wrote on my fridge calendar that April 15th is registration for high school.. HOLD CRAP I am going to have a Highschooler!!!!! What the heck?!?!?!
Oh yea something big is I am a divorced mom.. Johnny and I split last summer and I have never been happier.. I don't really want to go in to detail as who why, but I will say he needs help, big time.
I am with this Guy Named Mark who is just 13 months older than me (a far cry from the almost 10 year difference between me and Johnny and I love it)
He is AMAZING sweet and kind and I laugh all the time with him.
He has two kids so I am becoming a step mom.. I do think between dealing with Johnny and then Mark's ex I am going to go crazy one day and lose my mind. but all in all I am in a great place in my life and I could not ask for anything more..
I am going to try to spend some time reading on everyone's blog and getting caught up..
I love and miss everyone
May. 24th, 2008 @ 01:31 am Writer's Block: Nicknames
What's your nickname, and how did you get it?

I thought this was an interesting question
Well i Have not one but a few nic-names
the first is Gizzy-baby and i honestly dont remember why i got that but i Can tell you a womdulful group of fellow mommies started calling me that and i thinks it's adorable!!
the second is Elle.. because a freind's son couldnt call me Gizelle and Elle just kinds took off.. a whole lot of people (adults( call me that now... I think it's a very cool name!
May. 24th, 2008 @ 01:28 am What is true evolution to me
The Spiritually Evolved Person…
-Tends to be forgiving, see the best in others, and be accepting of what others can offer.
-Responds to people's comments / needs / objections with the desire to be better and to serve
-Sees every person as one of great worth and believes all have equal rights
-Works hard
-Has a deep sense of gratitude
-Knows "it's not about him/her"
-Knows happiness and misery are chosen
-Rolls with the punches – often with a sense of humor
-Takes nothing personally
-Is not reactive and is slow to anger if at all
-Does not pass judgment or need to blame
-Considers others' needs as valid and at least as important as his/her own
-Makes others feel welcome

The Spiritually Unevolved Person...
-Tends to be critical and to look for things to criticize, to feel irritation or anger at others' imperfections, and to look down on those who might have faults or failings to forgive
-Cannot bear to have his/her imperfections or mistakes pointed out or discussed and may in fact feel he/she is beyond reproach
-Feels superior
-Is lazy
-Has a deep sense of entitlement and/or complains a lot
-Feels everything is "about" him/her
-Feels that others / external circumstances make him/her miserable
-Whines, throws a tantrum, or acts like a martyr when things don't go his/her way
-Takes everything personally
-Is reactive and is often easily angered
-Judges harshly & blames readily
-Thinks his/her own wants take priority over others' needs and may be incapable of being considerate of others' needs or see them as important; lords it over others
-Makes others feel alienated or rejected
Nov. 29th, 2007 @ 10:36 am True, so true
PARENT - Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop


Long term, team players needed, for challenging
Permanent work in an
Often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
And organizational skills and be willing to work
Variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
And frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
Primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also req uired.


The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
Until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
Pack mule
And be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
In case, this time, the screams from
The backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
Such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
And stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
Coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must hav e ability to plan and organize social gatherings
For clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
An embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
Half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
The quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
Janitorial work throughout the facility.


Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
So that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you


None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.


Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
Of the assumption that college will help them
Become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
You actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.


While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
No tuition reimbursement , no paid holidays and
No stock options are offered;
This job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
And free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
Letting them know they are appreciated
For the fabulous job they do...
Or forward with love
To anyone thinking of applying for the job.


If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!
Aug. 9th, 2007 @ 07:32 pm @~>~~
OK so now on to better things.. I am in nursing school again.. this last spring i got my CNA but now back for my LPN.. despite other troubles i am loving it.. the only things that is really hard on my is sitting still for hours on end.. i never did like sitting still and now it's painful too..
The kids OMG they are getting SOOOO big Zachary is hitting the big kindergarten this year (I'm going to miss first day of school POUTING BIG TIME)
he is excited to go to sissy's school lol
Deannah is going in to Fourth grade and also very excited she is dieing to know who her teacher will be.
John is still in special classes in ST Joe and loves all his teachers he is also going in to 4th but with accommodations.
Taylor my now 7th grader (POUT) is beautiful and i nice BIG mouth too boot. she is amazing though she helps out more than any other 12 year old i have ever met and (other than that mouth) she is very very good to me and her family for that matter..
she is a middle school cheerleader this year! it cost me quite a bit but it's worth it to see her so active for her school.. Johnny just hates the short skirt LOL
that leaves Johnny.. MY handsome husband who puts up with WAY too much that the law allows. Thank God for him or i dont know where i would be..
he is working as a dead head logger with his brother in law, hard work but he lives every bit..
thats my life in a nutshell. I guess i cold go on with a bit more but for now i will just add that also i complain i am just happy to be on this earth and God didnt take me when i got very sick this last spring because i did get close.. so I am happy i am able to be here to vent another day.
BIg hugs
Jul. 3rd, 2007 @ 01:06 am Favorite Quote
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou
Jun. 30th, 2007 @ 06:24 pm I know it's been a while but an update nontheless
Can you imagine it feels like only yesterday I was putting up the Christmas tree! Here we are headed full force in to July…
Kids are enjoying summer vacation even though Taylor would like to go more places and hang out with people other than her family. We got a pool.. IT is HUGE above ground and was used so we are still working out some (used) kinks but it’s still nice.. IT is really great to have something to wear out the boys so they sleep at night. With nothing to occupy their brains (aside from the occasional educational game I try to force down their throats) they need to wear off steam somehow.
Johnny is working Deadhead Cyprus with his BIL (this is logging for anyone that might not know) and had put his business aside for now knowing it will be hard to do this and keep up with the kids after I start school.. My First day is July 27th and I am so excited! I’m sure that will die off soon as I have been on my own schedule for years and here I go Hooked to the college almost every day for the next year.
Medically; the freak of nature is still here I think I told you all about getting sick landing myself in the hospital and still recovering with this stiffness and pain you would not believe.. They started out thinking I had RA.. And other than that baffled at why blood tests aren’t going along with it and how it came on so suddenly.. I have been to 3 doctors and have the Apt with the 4th on the 9th of July. (A Rheumatologist) And they all look at my like “DUH” they have no clue.
So John has his annual Physical and I thought well heck why not I’ll ask his Pead.. She is a wonderful woman and never has any problem talking to me about anything so I tell her my story and I even told her they said I had step throat in the hospital something which I thought had nothing to do with anything else.. she says “OK you go see Dr Crayton (the rheumatologist) and you tell him everything make sure you tell him you work in healthcare, you have small kids at home, and you had strep throat” HUH!!! Why does that matter??? She tell me to go home and read up on it and the Dr I am going to see will know what she was talking about but she believes I got Rheumatic fever!!! I swear I am the queen of obscure viruses!!!!! I got chicken pox when I was 21 when I was 23 I had spinal meningitis and now this? Good news is the arthritic symptoms only last for about 6 months. Bad news is it could have hurt my heart valves.. so anyway I guess I will have something definite on the 9th but I am just happy it is looking like something other than RA the prognosis for that is down right crappy and I am not good one to take meds every day for the rest of my life.. Heck I can’t even remember my daily vitamins!!
Feb. 5th, 2007 @ 10:18 pm SO do you wanna hear about something that till make you spit nails
I'm feeling so..: nauseatednauseated
SO i went grocery shopping today with April and while in the checkout line this guy who has worked there for a while now (stocking cashier, you name it he does it) who normally is the sweetest thing and is always flirting with everyone while at the same time talking about his beloved wife and his many kids..
started talking to the woman he was checking out and starts telling her that His wife is the best (ok that seems sweet don't it) and that he really got a good catch (ok still sounding like prince charming)
then while not really trying to hear his conversation with this coustomer he says
"I will never allow my wife to fix things out of a box that is the sorriyest cop out I know and i think a woman should be shot for trying to feed her man food out of a box" (IE. Mac-n-cheese)
OH HELL NO!! he did not just say that I look up at my groceries and see the easy-mac i bought for my kids to have after school snacks and the hamberger helper i thought would be easy for Johnny to fix while i was at school for long hour and i turn around to find his eyes staring right at me!
I say "excuse me?!" he says thats right honey you would be putting that mac-n-cheese right back on the shelf if you were my wife"
I pop off with" and thank God Im not cause your butt would starve because the man in my life is not helpless and knows how to cook for his damn self!"
I go on to say Buddy if you think you can deal with 4 kids, go to college work full time for your church. volunteer at 4 different schools keep the house clean and never cook out of a box i commend you on your ability to lie to yourself and everyone around you
and i stopped He did get a few words in but honestly i was so mad i have no clue what he said
I turned around to April , mouth gaping open.. she says "yea and her husband is better looking that you too!" HA HA right about then the manager walked out and told him to go to break and he quickly walked away.
What nerve!!!! and the sad thing is there was a guy agreeing with him while holding a grocery list clearly written in woman's handwriting and a box of rice-a-roni ROFL...
Feb. 5th, 2007 @ 10:03 pm time flys when your never above the water
I'm feeling so..: melancholymelancholy
OOK I am sooo sorry this is becoming a bad habit for me to not post here for a long time.. this is my diary and i can't believe i have neglected it or you all so very badly.. School is going good. I have my third big test of the first course tomorrow am on structure and function of microorganisms OH how fun! I am a little nervous about it trying to remember what this was and that was mainly because all those damn words sound alike to me!
Johnny is finally getting the swing of this being alone with the kids thing.. it is sad that his oldest is 12 and youngest 5 and he is just not getting the understanding that the laundry and dishes don't wash themselves LOL.
I miss all you all SO darn much it hurts i enjoying knowing about your lives and i realized how bad of a friend i had been when conversing with one of you through myspace and realizing i have missed something that was a big deal and didn't even know it.. And to you I am so sorry for being to out of touch..